November 2007 Voter Guide

While perhaps not a true post-modern election, San Franciscans will see more than their fair share of non-traditional choices this Tuesday.

Consider that in the midst of a mayoral “race” that would more accurately described as a choice between a Democratic incumbent and his Republican sensibilities, we are enjoining you to cast your vote for poultry. Or that the people of San Francisco could choose to legislate monthly conversations between said poultry and the Board of Supervisors. In such a city, is it any surprise that we are endorsing an acupuncture-supporting, education-leaning candidate for sheriff? (And while you may be wondering if sheriffs ride horses, False Profit, LLC officially denies any knowledge of such trivialities. We can tell you, however, that depending on the outcome of proposition G, our sheriff may be able to park a horse in Golden Gate Park.)

Now…we understand, with the constant onslaught of information and advertising, that making decisions on complex issues such as these can be difficult. And maybe this is why there is a proposition dedicated solely to limiting the continuing trend of turning every solid surface into advertising space. But don’t worry, information is also getting its fair share of attention, with propositions on WiFi expansion and libraries (yes, libraries still contain information).

We understand you may be wondering if it is worth participating in this vast absurdity, but it is precisely because you recognize it as absurdity that you should engage. And perhaps it is also worth mentioning that, quite often, you don’t not know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

Joni Mitchell never lies. Though, truthfully, she may be a bit naive. After having paved paradise, doesn’t it logically follow that parking will be needed? The question then—both universal and local—is not parking vs. no parking, but rather, how much parking? Appropriately, you will also find propositions that address this question from a couple different angles.

One final recommendation: While you may disagree with our recommendations, the most important thing is that you follow them.

The Short Version

District Attorney: Kamala D. Harris
Mayor: Chicken John Rinaldi
Sheriff: Michael Hennessey

Proposition A: Yes
Proposition B: Yes
Proposition C: no
Proposition D: Yes
Proposition E: no
Proposition F: No
Proposition G: no
Proposition H: NO NO NO
Proposition I: Yes
Proposition J: Yes
Proposition K: Yes

The Long Version

District Attorney: Kamala D. Harris
Ms. Harris is the uncontested incumbent.

Mayor: Chicken John Rinaldi
As there is almost no chance that Mr. Rinaldi is actually going to overthrow incumbent Gavin Newsom, a vote for the longtime burningman freak and promoter of ecologically-friendly fuel alternatives–his car runs off coffee grounds!–sends a clear message that San Francisco supports the arts and innovation to the hilt. (Note: We miss you Matt Gonzalez!)

Sheriff: Michael Hennessey
Mr. Hennessy has served for over 20 years. He is the only Sheriff in California who is a lawyer, has never been a cop, is an advocate for acupuncture for convicted criminals, has built one of the most diverse staffs in the nation and and is often criticised for being “too PC.”

PROP. A MUNI Reform – Yes
Transit Reform, Parking Regilation ad Emissions Reductions
Nagu says: Prop A makes it more difficult for the Board of Supervisors to increase private parking and stabilizes funding for MUNI. We hope an even more ambitious public transit proposal makes it onto the ballot in the future. Just make sure that you vote NO on Prop H, which is the diametric opposite of this measure.

PROP. B Limiting Commissioner Hold-Over – Yes
Limiting Hold-Over Service on Charter-Created Boards and Commissions
Nagu says: Commissioners and board members are meant to do their work without interference (say, from the Mayor) once they are appointed. This straightforward measure closes a loophole in the current system that puts some appointees in positions they can be pressured, politically.

PROP. C Election Sunshine/ Ballot Reform – No
Required Public Hearings on Proposed Measured
Zachary says: This is kind of a tricky one. Prop C would seem to improve ballot measures process by mandating that supervisors hold a hearing 45 days in advance before putting any measure on the ballot. However, the same is not required of public petitions, which are often sponsored by special interests. The real effect of this measure would be to shift power away from elected officials and towards moneyed interests.

PROP. D Renewing Library Set-aside – Yes
Renewing Library Preservation Fund
Skippy says: The original LPF, established in 1994, sets aside 2.5 cents (yes, you read that correctly – 2.5 CENTS) out of every $100 tax dollars for libraries. It is due to sunset in 2008 – 2009, and Proposition D would extend it for another 15 years, effectively keeping libraries fully-funded, and their budgets safe from the City’s political and fiscal vicissitudes.
Nagu says: Some would oppose this measure simply because they dislike bond measures that allow bonds to be issued without voter approval. Since the library fund won’t expire until 2009, there is time for a more fiscally-responsible plan to emerge.

PROP. E Question Time – no
Requiring Mayor to Appear Monthly at a Board of Supervisors Meeting
FP Says: …what we said in 2006: The board of supervisors just wants to make its squabbles with the Mayor public. Vote YES if you want to help Chris Daly shame Gavin Newsom. Vote NO if you don’t want the ballot to turn into a high school slapfight.

PROP. F Airport Police Retirement Benefits – No
Authorizing Board of Supervisors to Amend Contract For Retirement Benefits for Police Department Employees Who Were Airport Police Officers
Nagu says: The net result of of this measure would be to raise retirement benefits for airport police to match those of their counterparts who work in the city. This is totally unnecessary; it’s entirely reasonable for officers putting more at risk within San Francisco to receive better benefits.

PROP. G Golden Gate Park Stables Fund – no
Establishing Golden Gate Park Stables Matching Fund
Orange says: While it’s great that it would utilize matching funds to leverage extra money for a recreation project, this measure would allocate funds to a pet project without following normal process, and it would allocate funds that could be better spent on either more inclusive recreation projects or other city priorities. (The Guardian supports the proposition because they’re worried that without these funds the stables will end up privatized. I see their point, but don’t think it justifies this allocation of funds.)

PROP. H Parking Initiative – No
Regulating Parking Spaces
Pinkfist says: Do we want up to 20,000 extra cars cruising around downtowntown each day? This measure reverses 35 years of transit-oriented growth and will endanger bicyclists, pedestrians, and street trees.

PROP. I Small Business Assistance Center – Yes
Creates Small Business Assistance Center under new “Office of Small Business” city agency.
JD says: This has benefits for the city in the form of centralized advice, licensing and approvals for starting and running small businesses in SF, a process currently managed by many different departments. The office would have a modest budget, by local standards ($750k to start). Supporting local business ownership keeps more money in the hands of local folks, who do support charitable services and programs..

PROP. J WiFi Policy Statement – Yes
Adopting a Policy to Offer Free City-Wide Wireless High-Speed Internet Network
Nagu says: We should be doing everything we can to narrow the widening digital divide that exists in our city. Despite some reservations about giving leverage to a corporate WiFi provider (and the fact that this is just a policy statement), we think Prop J would help address one small slice of that problem.

PROP. K Street Ads – Yes
Adopting a Policy to Restrict Advertising on Street Furniture and City Buildings
Dr Trix says: It’s no secret that we don’t like big public advertising, here at False Profit (except, of course, when they serve as canvases for our corporate artwork.) We agree with this policy statement that would have the city restrain itself from selling off MUNI bus shelters to ClearChannel for some short-term cash gain.

Other Voter Guides:

The False Profit 2007 Voter’s Guide : It’s for your own good