Spring Training

Sunday, June 1st
Noon-8p

Alxndr (False Profit, DownLow)
benchun (False Profit)
DJJD (False Profit)
Dov (Muti Music)
Dr. Toast (False Profit)
F’kir (elderfae.net)
Obi-J (False Profit)
Rhythmystic (Rhythm Society)

Oakland, CA – As global weather patterns continue to destabilize, campout industry insiders have been busily preparing for the Summer Quarter. They reportedly expect that investors, given new confidence by the influential predictions of the Sun, will arise from hibernation into a wild fits of weekend trading that will send the Bass Index soaring.

False Profit, LLC, a major player in the campout industry, is taking measures to ensure a smooth market transition.

In a move that the Treasury Department has hailed as “fiscally healthy”, False Profit, LLC will offer Spring Training, a free “Summer Campouts for Dummies” course, that will help investors prepare for the upcoming trading frenzy.

“You can’t just jump right into these frenzies,” said Dina Pinza, a Senior Medical Analyst for False Profit, LLC. “Even the most experienced summer camper needs a little refresher course.” She added, “You’ve seen what Bass can do to people.”

Spring Training will be held in picturesque Joaquin Miller Park on Sunday, June 1st from noon until 8pm. False Profit, LLC recommends participants bring water, food, and sunscreen.