Bitterness, Inc.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: False Profit, LLC and the Hallmark Corporation Announce the Inception of a New Joint Venture:

BITTERNESS, INC.
Underground location at Custer and Rankin

Valentines Day.
Alone?… Again?

Try not to let it burn you up. Fucking manufactured postcard holiday anyway, right? Why should you let hallmark decide the one day of the year you need to have a date? Fuck Hallmark! Fuck Valentine’s Day!

Woah there, cowboy. Times like these we need some outside help. Some words of wisdom. A call to tolerance, maybe.

“Hatred ever kills, love never dies.”
– Gandhi

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Of course, neither Gandhi nor the Reverend Doctor ever had to push through a Valentine’s Day without any nookie. They were also both extremely bad dancers. So, for our inspiration we turn to a lesser known but equally righteous quixotic quotable, Edna Millay:

“I love humanity, but I hate people.”

There. That’s more like it. Edna’s our kinda girl. She definitely got down and got around in her day. Fuck, there’s a book about her and her friends called “All-Night Party!” And what parties they were: the book describes the regulars as “dancers, jazz musicians, princesses, mobsters, men of the stock exchange, bohemians, and smartly dressed employees of the U.S. Post Office.”
Sounds about right…

Make False Profit your Valentine for a celebration of the holiday that the American Corporation put on the map.